Friday, September 22, 2017

It's Alive!

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Hey, it was worth a shot.
We're glad to report that we've turned a corner (not to be confused with a coroner) and actually started improving. Which isn't to say that we feel great, but we feel great by comparison - which can be a useful perspective to be reminded of from time to time.

We looked for a news story to comment on today, but it seems all the most interesting stuff is somewhat past its prime at this juncture: the Manafort wiretapping, Trump's great U.N. speech, and Hillary's preposterous self-identification as Paul Revere. All are still great stories, but all have already been fully commented on elsewhere.

Hopefully, this will be our last "placeholder" post before getting back to our regular tomfoolery on Monday - and we have no doubt whatsoever that the news will provide plenty of new grist for our mill by then. And trust us, "grist" is the nicest word we can use.

Have a great (and healthy!) weekend, and best wishes to all our Jewish friends for Rosh Hashanah!

All we need now is something for our lingering cough...

Wednesday, September 20, 2017

In Sickness And In...No, Just Sickness


Oh, it is SO not happening today. We're still sick, and our home is still jammed with contractors trying to outdo one another in the making outrageous noises competition.

At this very moment, our head is pounding and we actually feel faint - making it a less than perfect time to really savor the ongoing duet by a circular saw and nail gun. And what's better for a queasy tummy and rattling phlegm-filled lungs than a fresh round of toxic paint fumes?

On top of everything else, we had to take time off from wishing for a speedy death to deal with the fact that a coffin-sized box which has been getting moved all over our house for the last 6 weeks turned out to contain the wrong friggin' bathtub. 

We'll be back ASAP. Until then, carry on!

Monday, September 18, 2017

Lawn Order

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One of the happiest political stories of the past week involved 11-year old Frank Giaccio, who wrote to President Trump asking if he could mow the White House lawn to promote his self-created business and was awarded the job.

"That's the real future of the country right there," beamed Mr. Trump as he pointed at the young entrepreneur. "Maybe he'll be President someday!"

When questioned whether he'd also asked Hillary Clinton if he could mow her grass, young Frank replied "No, but I did offer to shovel her snow."

"But there is no snow," said Hillary.

"Lady," laughed Frank, "there'll be snow in Hell before you're in the White House!"

(Editorial note: we may have made up the part about Hillary)

CONSTANT COFFIN...


We're a little light on substance at Stilton's Place today (despite plenty of things going on) owing to being impressively, disgustingly ill. Mrs Jarlsberg got the ball rolling with sore throat, sneezes and coughs, and we hoped beyond hope for 24 hours that it would prove to be just allergies (have we mentioned our home is really dusty lately? We have? Never mind).

But nooOOooo, a happy little invading army of germs has swept through the Jarlsberg home and taken no prisoners. Even our freaking teeth hurt, and it's getting increasingly hard to find walls which aren't freshly painted upon which to cough blood-flecked phlegm.

We'll be right as rain soon, but in the meanwhile you may want to wash your hands if you actually touched your keyboard while reading this. Better safe than sorry.