Monday, March 13, 2017

Spring Forward, Fall To Pieces

stilton’s place, stilton, political, humor, conservative, cartoons, jokes, hope n’ change, daylight saving time, coffee

We'll apologize in advance if today's commentary lacks our usual snap, crackle, and pop, but we're suffering from a severe case of Daylight Saving Time-induced brain fog.

#BlackCoffeeMatters, but no amount of that precious, steaming, life-giving liquid is enough to repair the grievous damage inflicted on our internal biorhythms by a cruel and uncaring government.

Oh sure, some people (whom we might be married to) can laugh it off, but for many of us the struggle is real. Especially if different clocks in the house are showing pre-DST time, DST time, and (in the case of Mrs. J's bedroom alarm) DST time plus 20 minutes because she likes it that way and has never learned anything from old Frankenstein movies that show the disastrous folly of toying with Nature.

(We pause briefly for a sip from our fifth cup of coffee, and to strike a stunned, unmoving pose like a dopey version of Rodin's "The Thinker" while trying to remember where words come from, how to string them together, and...uh...what were we talking about?)

Research, which we're too damn tired to look up or link to, shows that there may well be no benefit from Daylight Saving Time whatsoever: not for farmers, not for school kids, not for energy savings, or anything else. That same research shows that after any Daylight Saving Time clock change, there are more heart attacks, more car crashes, and marked increases in stress and depression.

Even worse, there's a lot more drooling on desks, although researchers don't like to talk about it.

Recovering from this debilitating "time flu" generally takes us about two weeks. We were going to say "give or take an hour," only this is no laughing matter except to those who are, unforgivably, naturally perky.

stilton’s place, stilton, political, humor, conservative, cartoons, jokes, hope n’ change, daylight saving time, coffee
On the plus side, where we're going the coffee will stay hot.

34 comments:

Ed G. Mann said...

The way the Government figures it, "When you cut a foot off the top end of a board and nail it to the bottom end, it makes it longer."

Wanna bet it took a committee to come up with that?

Phoebe said...

Of course, by now so much of the year is on DST (8 months) and so little on "Standard" Time (4 months), that we may want to reverse the names and call DST the Standard and Standard the ... well, maybe "Old-Timey Time"? "Rest of the World Time"?

REM1875 said...

Confused and barely awake, it's now 0430 that use to be 0330 or was that 0530? I'll ask the dogs- they seem to not be bothered by these things - well what do ya know? - it's treat time again. I think they are lying.

pgm1972 said...

Well, we know which one is Stilton, but which one more resembles your wife? (I'm thinking "Part 2".)

https://youtu.be/DaRoznwcD-I

Happy Monday, Stilts! :-)

James Daily said...

If you really think government of any form is here to help you, you need help. Yea, that changing times has never worked well except to confuse. Then, took the family to Hawaii and that really sucked for a couple of weeks. Meanwhile, Ryan and McConnell are wearing my patience as I just wait on McCain to drop dead. Pelosi told another whopper in that had Hillary won, she would have quit. Lie as all polls said Hillary by a landslide so why did she run for reelection? It's getting harder to tolerate these lying nitwits.

Bobo the Hobo said...

Trump could have easily won had he run his campaign solely based on eliminating DST.

Judi King said...

I agree with Phoebe. My brain never adjusts to the 4 months of "regular" time or whatever it's called.

Fred Ciampi said...

Since I retired I put away all my wristwatches and get up when I wake up and go to sleep when I am tired. Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzfart..............

john1v6 said...

Gary Larson disagrees about the coffee always being warm: https://timmhallman.blogspot.com/2011/06/far-side-of-hell.html

Geoff King said...

Ah yes, you poor DSTers. We here in Az. have never observed that pagan ritual, and life seems to proceed quite normally.
I believe that nonsense is perpetuated by the Duracell and Eveready battery lobbyists who wrongfully claim that one must change the batteries in one's smoke detectors when one changes the clocks twice a year.
Most smoke detectors give advance warning of a weak battery by beeping intermittantly, which can be after many years of backup only use - not twice a year as they would have you believe.

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@Ed G. Mann- I believe that's the kind of "cutting" the government also applies to alleged budget cuts.

@Phoebe- I sort of prefer designations like "real time" and "fake time."

@REM1875- Last night I went to bed at 11:30, because I usually go to bed at 10:30. Then I woke at 6 am, which was 5 am the day before. So did I lose another hour of sleep? Two hours? I have no idea. Penny the dog is weathering the change without problem, though.

@pgm1972- In this (rare) instance, Whoopi and I are in complete agreement.

@James Daily- My parents lived in Hawaii in their retirement, and visiting them (with a 4 or 5 hour time difference) always made for a whopping case of jet lag. I have, in fact, sometimes described DST as "jet lag for people who can't afford to travel."

And yes, it's painful watching all of the poltroons shuffling around Washington and spewing lies.

@Bobo the Hobo- Knowing Trump, I'm surprised that he didn't promise we'd "Spring Forward, But Never Fall Back." In fact, I hate to joke about it in case he decides it's a good idea.

@Judi King- I was being optimistic when I said I need a two week adjustment. It actually takes however long it is until the next time change, at which point the horror begins anew.

@Fred Ciampi- I don't have anything like a regular schedule (nor have I worn a watch in years). There's no tangible reason why the time change should affect me at all - but it does. Clearly you're better adjusted than I am. (grin)

@john1v6- NOOOOooooooo....!

@Geoff King- So you're saying this is a conspiracy of assault and batteries?! I believe it. And for years I lived in Indiana which didn't play the time change game, and it was lovely. The only disruption was what time TV shows came on. And as far as I was concerned, anything that put Red Skelton on the air an hour earlier was fine. (Geez, I'm old...)

Barbar Cat said...

Look at it this way...Friday the 13th came on Monday this DST.
I'm looking at my cats to know what time it is, they know.

FlyBoy said...

Stilt- I find that a little (or sometimes a lot) of Bailey's Irish Crème in my coffee makes it much more enjoyable. Since the coffee is no longer black, does that make me a racist?

Dave Neumann said...

Years ago a WI state assemblyman said he read an article from the Fed Dept. Of Justice (a euphemism I'm sure) that reported a 10% drop in crime during DST. The assemblyman (Bill the buffoon) proposed that WI go to DST all year to reduce our crime rate. ??????

redleger said...

I'm with Geoff King - here is AZ - if I hadn't woke up to read this message I wouldn't have known that it happened - again. Time to hit the golf course

Old 1811 said...

I grew up in Indiana, and at this time of year, whenever you heard anyone mention Indiana, Arizona, and Hawaii, you knew what the subject of the conversation was.
Sadly, a few years ago, Indiana buckled under to the Light Bulb Trust and went DST. (They did it for a while in the 70s, then got rid of it.)
Actually, when I had a dog I hated the falling back more. The damn dog didn't realize it was too early for his walk.

Pete (Detroit) said...

The timechange does not bother me nearly as much as the LIGHT change - we're picking up almost 5 min a day of additional daylight, and my personal flavor of SAD kicks in. I'm fine w/ the short nights of summer, and the short days of winter, but transitioning does bad things for body chemistry, and when the change is fastest, effects are worse.

Yeah, I know, no one cares...
:)

For the record, I agree that DST is stupid plot that saves nothing, and costs lives.
Definitely a gummint conspiracy...

Tim said...

How about just work your 9 to 5 office job from 8 to 4 half the year instead of playing a practical joke on ourselves twice a year? (I know, nobody has a 9 to 5 job anymore).

Emmentaler Limburger said...

Agreed - It's LONG past time for this archaic practice to be put down...

Anonymous said...

Farmers and ranchers operate on sun time, not clock time. BTDT.

Old age has me with impaired vision, so I don't drive after dark. That means no Happy Hour during the winter. Now, with DST, I can make the scene for a toddy or two and some socializing FTF. Life is good.

Back when I was still working backhoe/dump truck, I operated during daylight, regardless of what a clock said.

Some things, I just don't really worry about. Worry-free = Good.

Desertrat

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@Barbar Cat- Hey, cats have 9 lives. What do they care if they lose an hour in one of them?

@FlyBoy- I think it either shows you appreciate diversity or multi-nationalism. And if I had some Bailey's I'd give that a try in this morning's coffee. Unfortunately, all I've got is rotgut scotch and some "key lime pie" rum.

@Dave Neumann- So is the drop due to less crime, or victims too tired to call for help?

@redleger- See, that's how life should be: pick a time and stick with it. This other system is madness, I tell you - MADNESS!

@Old 1811- I have many good memories of Indiana (and it's been too long since I've visited). Too bad they finally caved to DST.

@Pete (Detroit)- Interesting! I'd always associated SAD with declining daylight, but I guess it can go either way.

@Tim- More people would have 9 to 5 jobs if we could all agree what those times mean!

@Emmentaler- Proof that a policy can be archaic and eat it, too.

@Desertrat- For the record, I prefer the way DST keeps it light longer (and the chance to visit Happy Hour is yet more justification). Mrs J, on the other hand, prefers it the other way when it gets dark earlier.

John the Econ said...

I have to admit that I do like that at my latitude the sun will not be waking us up at 4:30am, and that it will be light until 11pm. But "local time" itself in an artificial construct implemented for the sake of commerce, and the time change itself is a pain. I came to that conclusion decades ago with the proliferation of digital clocks in every single device that I own, from appliances to calculators to radios. It must take a week to get to everything. If I were a fascist, I'd demand that every clock sold be one of those self-setting types that get their time from WWV.

Sortahwitte said...

For 25 years, I worked rotating shiftwork in an oil refinery. I worked 8 hour day shifts for 7 days and 2 days off. Then I worked 8 hour evening shifts for 7 days, and 2 days off. Then 8 hour night shifts for 7 days and 2 off. Then, it started over with days. I was jet-lagged all the time. I was an irritable, short tempered sob. My heart doc says he believes my heart damage was caused by not enough rem sleep. My kids express love for me now, but there was a lot of time spent in bridge re-building and reconciliation. So, when the local youngsters ask me about working in that refinery, I caution them. Good money, but will you be healthy enough and live long enough to spend it. And, I survived with my family intact. Quite a few don't.

Cookie said...

I hate DST! I, too, suffer for about 2 weeks until my internal clock has caught up. I have a daughter in Arizona, so now I have to try and remember what time it is there when I call her. Will she be up yet? Is she at work? Has she gone to bed? Is she an hour behind or ahead? Yes, 1st world problems! When my boss complained that the weekend was too short I told him that it was 48 hours! Then he reminded me that it was only 47 hours! Oh yes, how could I forget! And you can see I have used a lot of exclamation points! Did I mention that I hate DST? Mr. Cookie believes DST was created so our state legislators can have plenty of daylight to go golfing after work. Makes sense to me! I hate DST!

AmyH said...

There has been a portion of Indiana that has always done DST. Lake & Porter (maybe Newton & Jasper too) have always (my lifetime). If we had to travel to Indy, we had to figure out if they were an hour ahead or the same time. Got confusing. I know for a very, very short time in the '70s someone decided ALL of Indiana should be Eastern Time. Huge mistake. People that work in Chicago were pissed & confused. We went back to Central.

JustaJeepGuy said...

Sometimes I think that the people who made DST mandatory actually think they're changing nature somehow. That sounds like something government would think.

I have to add that I absolutely cannot abide even the stench of coffee let alone the taste, and I will not permit it in my house.

Patricia said...

Like Mrs. J, I too have my alarm clock set 20 min fast - because I like it that way. Whether or not this is strictly a female trait, I feel I am in good company.

Paul D Garber said...

I thought you'd say "Snap, Crackle & Poop". You must really need your sleep. Get reste my friend

Emmentaler Limburger said...

@John the Econ: My "atomic clock" needs to come off the mantle and set out on the porch for 15 minutes or so for the time change - that weak little signal just won't penetrate into the house. And I forget about it all the time...

JustaJeepGuy said...

Off topic for today but worthy of note is this American Thinker article:

http://www.americanthinker.com/blog/2017/03/harvard_going_orwell_protecting_students_from_conservative_websites.html

Sadly, "HNC" and "Stilton's Place" didn't make the list...

Shelly said...

I hate it. I hate everything about it. I hate the switch twice a year and all that entails with the clocks, etc. I hate the disruption to my body clock and the transition of that back and forth. I hate that the little brats in the park outside my apartment have an extra hour every night to annoy the crap out of me. While I would prefer to let the sun dictate the clock in normal time, I would actually go for altered time all year to avoid the transitions. It's practically that anyway.

Bill said...

Hello,

Regaring Daylight Saving Time:

It was an old Indian that said that White men are the only people stupid enough to believe that if you cut one foot off one end of a blanket and sew it onto the other end that it makes the blanket longer.

Bill Moore (my father's mother was a Blackfoot Indian)

Colby Muenster said...

I guess I'm a weirdo... I sort of like the time change, but if it were to be discontinued, I much prefer having the extra daylight in the evenings. Of course, I can always petition the boss to let me come in an hour early and leave an hour early. Or better yet, come in an hour late and leave an hour early to make up for it!

Chris said...

The coffee machine at work was broken on Monday. I'm sure this is a metaphor, but I'm afraid to ask for what.