Wednesday, June 7, 2017

Blank Reality Check

stilton’s place, stilton, political, humor, conservative, cartoons, jokes, hope n’ change, reality winner, spy, traitor, security clearance, leaks

With the announcement that 25-year old "Reality Winner" (no, really) had been arrested for stealing and leaking top secret documents, it became clear to us that a near and dear friend who was very ill for a very long time had finally been pushed over the brink: we regret to say that Satire is dead.

Because seriously, when a story gets this "in your face" ridiculous - what details are left for us to push to humorous extremes?!

Start with her name: "Reality Winner." Then let's tick off the other boxes: lesbian bodybuilder, ardent Bernie Sanders supporter, a "Black Lives Matter" enthusiast who (though white herself) argues that "Being white is terrorism." A woman whose social media posts include referring to the President of the United States as a "piece of shit" and the "Tangerine in chief," who additionally declares that in a war between the US and Iran, she'll side with Iran.

And still...STILL...she was given a top secret security clearance and access to classified materials. Which raises two very troubling questions: just what in blazing Hell does someone have to do to not get a security clearance, and how many other angry, ignorant, communist-leaning, anti-American social justice warriors are currently embedded in (and sabotaging) our intelligence agencies?!

We're guessing the number to be terrifyingly high, but can't know for sure because trying to find out would require functional intelligence agencies. And that ship, like Satire, has sailed.

46 comments:

REM1875 said...

Let us hope reality whiners has plenty of time to spend body building and enjoy being with fellow lesbians......... in a max security facility.

Jim Irre said...

19¢ round between the eyes. Just sayin' . . .

James Daily said...

Our intelligence agencies are a joke. They hire Arabs to translate for them, they outsource really sensitive information gathering, the Crook's main gal was a direct pipeline to Iran along with the three brothers doing computer stuff for the democrats and no telling how many more are embedded. The Only way this gal was caught is because the paper left not bread crumbs but road signs. We have had leakers in the WH, CIA, FBI and NSA since January and it was an accident they caught This one. Do not forget the rapist and the Chinese spies. Is it too rotten to fix? or we have no one capable of fixing this?

M. Mitchell Marmel said...

Reminds me of Tom Lehrer's eulogy for satire in the 70s when Henry Kissinger got the Nobel Peace Prize... ;-)

Joseph ET said...

She'll get off by using the Hillary Clinton defense. "She had no intent." And then she'll blame climate change plus all the other Clinton excuses.

Fish Out of Water said...

If we had named our son Reality, Peace, good vibes, etc., make no mistake, he'd find the crappest assisted living facility he could find, and put us in it.

Thomas Beechler said...

Let's drop her off, on the corner of " walk and don't walk", Syria and see how she likes the IsIs lifestyle. Hell, I'll kick in a couple bucks for the ticket.

Cat Whispererer said...

“Then let's tick off the other boxes: lesbian bodybuilder, ardent Bernie Sanders supporter, a "Black Lives Matter" enthusiast ..." etc., etc.

Coincidentally, those will be the same boxes her lawyer ticks off when successfully arguing for probation in front of the Obama-appointed judge.

Fred Ciampi said...

Death by firing squad in a public place. After a fair trial, of course. I would be delighted to even provide the bullets. A message must be sent.

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@REM1875- If the facility's "maximum security" is anything like that of our intelligence agencies, they won't even lock the doors.

@Jim Irre- Assuming that's after a trial, guilty verdict, and sentencing I think it would be a major reminder to others that security breaches are a bad idea.

@James Daily- I'm pretty discouraged about the functional integrity of our intelligence services and the bodies which should be overseeing them. Who can vet those who are supposed to be doing the vetting?

@M. Mitchell Marmel- Tom Lehrer called that one accurately. And in reality, Satire is still staggering along - though a lot of people can't tell the difference between satire and actual news these days. Heck, some days even I can't.

@Joseph ET- It's time they drop the whole "intent" argument, as it has no bearing on security failures. But you're right that Hillary's "get out of jail free" pass will be used as precedent to protect this latest traitor.

@Fish Out of Water- That sounds fair to me (grin).

@Thomas Beechler- I believe if she visits one of the Islamic countries she's so fond of, they'll happily give her flying lessons.

@Cat Whispererer- (is it my imagination, or did you add an extra "er" to your name?) You're absolutely right that the whole laundry list will be cited as virtues if this ever goes to trial.

@Fred Ciampi- Assuming that all of the proper steps were followed, that strikes me as an appropriate sentence - and one long overdue in terms of reminding people of the seriousness of security oaths. And to share historic precedent (which surely "Reality Winner" would be clueless about), after proper sentencing Ethel Rosenberg never committed another crime.

Judi King said...

Satire? After all, the poor little creep was named Reality by her stupid parents. Really? She had 3 strikes against her when born and needs a reality check.

Geoff King said...

All Ms. Winner needs to do is claim she identifies as a man and the left will elevate her to deity status and no charges can possibly stick to her. She won't even need to change her name like Bradley/Chelsea Manning did.

jpb252 said...

I remember my Army days when I had a top secret clearance; they actually sent investigators out to interview people who knew me before clearing me. OK, that was a long time ago, but it still boggles the mind that someone like Reality Winner was ever given top secret clearance. They might as well give out a top secret clearance with every box of Cracker Jack.

TrickyRicky said...

I've wondered since 2008 how we could elect a president who couldn't get a security clearance in the real world. I guess the answer is that the "real world" no longer exists.

Tracy Evans said...

God, we'll probably end up paying for her sex change - the addadicktome..

Don't you guys ever sleep?

American Cowboy said...

So Reality Winner additionally declares that in a war between the US and Iran, she'll side with Iran?

That sounds like a statement of intended treason to me, and as such I genuinely wish that it would be punished as such, in particular the first option.

18 U.S. Code § 2381 - Treason
Whoever, owing allegiance to the United States, levies war against them or adheres to their enemies, giving them aid and comfort within the United States or elsewhere, is guilty of treason and shall suffer death, or shall be imprisoned not less than five years and fined under this title but not less than $10,000; and shall be incapable of holding any office under the United States.

Bob Horan said...

She's gotta be Frank Zapa's grandchild.....just sayin'

Bob Horan said...

18 U.S. Code § 2384 - Seditious conspiracy

If two or more persons in any State or Territory, or in any place subject to the jurisdiction of the United States, conspire to overthrow, put down, or to destroy by force the Government of the United States, or to levy war against them, or to oppose by force the authority thereof, or by force to prevent, hinder, or delay the execution of any law of the United States, or by force to seize, take, or possess any property of the United States contrary to the authority thereof, they shall each be fined under this title or imprisoned not more than twenty years, or both.
(June 25, 1948, ch. 645, 62 Stat. 808; July 24, 1956, ch. 678, § 1, 70 Stat. 623; Pub. L. 103–322, title XXXIII, § 330016(1)(N), Sept. 13, 1994, 108 Stat. 2148.)

Boligat said...

@Bob Horan

The problem is the qualifier, "If TWO or more persons... conspire..."

Her defense lawyer will claim she is a 'lone wolf' so the law here doesn't apply.

Keep that in mind for all the other terrorists being labelled as lone wolves, too.

Bob Horan said...

@Boligat:

Ah! But the trick will be that she got these ideas/slogans from someone, therefore, she is the 'second' person - Lawyers Tricks 101

Matters not to me which law gets her but throw he a** in Leavenworth for life or past the time she can whelp mentally deficient copies.

Shelly said...

This twit MUST be prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law and get some serious jail time if we are going to send the message to all the other traitors lurking in our most secret areas of government that the Obama years of anti-Americanism being so chic are over. Who knows how far and wide the subversion is? The Trump Justice Department needs to take this bull by the horns, sooner rather than later. This twit might be a joke personally but as a whole this is extremely serious. Robert Reich wrote a long piece praising the Trump resistors embedded in our federal behemoth, actually advocating disobedience to the hand that feeds them. We need a complete sweep of this monster, draining the swamp so to speak.

Lergnom said...

As Marshall Ruben J. Cogburn promised Hawk, "a fair trial and a fine hangin'".

John the Econ said...

Brilliant cartoon today, because it encapsulates so much of what is wrong in the megabureaucracy. Quite frankly, everybody who signed off on Reality Winner's security clearance should be called on the carpet. They certainly would in the private sector. But in the federal government, they're likely to get bonuses.

Could you imagine where'd we be if this was the standard level of competence during WWII?

There are over 5 million people with security clearances in the US. With the security establishment handing out clearances like Pez, I really have to wonder what the point is anymore. You don't have a top-security clearance? What's wrong with you? If they'll give one to this whack-a-do, they'll give one to absolutely anybody.

With so many "top" people, we should probably be impressed that this isn't happening on a daily basis just out of mathematical probability.

John the Econ said...

@Jim Irre, @American Cowboy & @Bob Horan, that ship sailed half-a-century ago when the Federal government did absolutely nothing to Jane Fonda. IMHO, she should have been tried and shot. At the very least, she should have been denied re-entry into the US. Either way, once that level of behavior became tolerated, everything else became possible.

Dan said...

@Stilton -- I'm so glad you used "security breaches" instead of as one sees it all too often "security breeches." I've often wondered what those pants looked like.

Drew458 said...

@Dan - obviously "security breeches" have really large holes in them. OTOH, the "senior model" comes with built in Depends.

Pete (Detroit) said...

Step 1) - fire all gummint officials hired in the past 10 years
Step 2) - replace retirees at the rate of 1 replacement to 2 retirees
Step 3) - re-org to eliminate middlemen, 'flatten' the structure

Yeah, I know, but I can dream, right?
Granted w/ tech changes we NEED *some* people hired in the previous 10 years - so fine, re-vet them as needed, and fire someone else...

Clearly, the status quo is BADLY broken...

James Daily said...

On that US code thing: Doesn't that depend on what the definition of
Two, To, Too, Tu is is?

Alfonso Bedoya said...

The entire issue of "security" in the nation reminds me of a book (and later a movie) called "The Falcon and the Snowman." One kid (the Falcon) was hired to handle information that was top secret, eventually passing it on---bit-by-bit---to the other kid (the Snowman) who then peddled it to the Russians for.......money!

I am waiting for the DOJ to haul little "Reality" into federal court, wondering what would have happened if she had tried the same treachery under Hillary, had she been elected. The answer is: Nothing, because would any little snowflake Socialist want to topple another Socialist President? I don't think so; so now the question is how long will she be in Leavenworth, and will she receive visits from Mommy and Daddy.

Judi King said...

I doubt if Ms Reality will be severely punished. She is, after all, a leftist and they can get away with anything including murder. (EG the Clintons). The media, of course, will be defending her freedom of speech rights to the max and so she'll get a slap on the wrist out of fear that the PC police might be offended.

Anonymous said...

Sorry folks but this one is going to be the scapegoat for the American people. Not the big fish , but rather the baitfish. Enjoy your 10 yrs Reality Winner. You'll still be young enough to live a happier life when you get out

John the Econ said...

Okay, folks, chime in quick: The Comey testimony. Bombshell or dud for the Democrats? Do they go back to hating him this afternoon?

Graylady said...

Give this idiot 20 years in a maximum security facility. It will keep her out of the gene pool.

Graylady said...

Depends on who your watching. FOX says after the multi page statement, no big deal. CNN and the 3 MSMs say it's gonna be YUGE!!!

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@John the Econ- I predict that there won't be any clear resolution to the Comey issue today; he will not say anything which is proof of actual wrongdoing, but will do his best to imply wrongdoing because he is, and I've double-checked with Webster to make sure I'm using the right word, a shit-weasel. Both sides will declare that Comey's testimony proves their case.

Judi King said...

Comey proved his credibility by letting hillary off and his flip flopping. I wouldn't believe anything he says and couldn't care less.

Whoopie said...

I suspected she was a lesbian when I heard that she was a cunning linguist.

Pete (Detroit) said...

I've been listening to the Comey testimony - utter nothing burger so far. Currently Rubio is smacking him around a bit, but still >yawn< and nothing to counter Stilt's assessment. I'm hoping someone will ask him about 'no reasonable prosecutor'...
NOT holding my breath..

John the Econ said...

The only thing that gets me is what a wimp he comes across as. Before this morning, I wouldn't have assumed that a director of the FBI could be so easily intimidated, even by a President. I was really taken aback by the "...maybe if I was stronger..." comment.

I mean, it's not like Trump has the reputation that the Clintons have regarding what happens to people who get in their way.

Colby Muenster said...

The morals of our society have slid so far into the swamp, and the gubmint's need to grow ever more bloated have combined to create this scenario. I imagine finding genuine trustworthy personnel is nigh to impossible nowadays, so our beloved beaurocrats just lower the standards to the point where damn near anybody can get security clearance. Scratch that... any liberal can get security clearance.

Sessions needs to make a yuuuuge example of this bag, but will anyone be surprised if he doesn't? Wouldn't want to appear like you're on a witch hunt, right?

James Daily said...

Did you ever pay a lot of money for a fishing trip and didn't catch anything? You just did not use that fishing guide anymore. Sound familiar?

Igor said...

Here's what pisses me off about the whole ClusterGrope:
1) A LOT of taxpayers' money down the rabbit hole.
2) come should've been gone 30 seconds after Trump took office.
3) there's a LOT of Obama hires that should have been treated likewise.

Man, I am sick-to-death of the Lamestream media pointing at the mud on Trump's fins and ignoring the dirt caked ALL OVER themselves. Most especially the Media.
4) Start prosecuting those leakers! AFTER they lose their jobs.

We have a real crisis in this country... we avoided a rather large bullet but the shotgun blasts by the Dumbocraps and RINOs can still kill ya!

Joyce Bagby said...

If it wasn't for double standards the Democrats wouldn't have any standards at all.

Comey is a special class of coward. He wasn't afraid to collude with Obama's AG Lynch to change the phrase criminal investigation = MATTER, so a politicized FBI was coordinating talking points with a presidential campaign. Yet he was afraid to release a statement that Pres Trump was not under investigation (minimum) at this time. That was just too intrusive? Too direct, too honest, too truthful? WOW, just wow. He wasn't afraid of colluding crooked democrats but he's frightened of an honest republican? Yea, a special class of coward is him.

Just think, another lawbreaker leaking stolen govt information. He kept notes on Pres Trump but doesn't have a single one from the Obama admin especially after the infamous Lynch/Clinton meeting on the tarmac? PS jimmy doofus, that note belongs to the taxpayer, it's not your personal property showing exactly why you are indeed, a nut job. I hate to be trite but WOW, just wow.

This debacle with Comey as Director of the FBI, the Clinton email/server debacle, and the lack of information regarding any investigation of the pay for play SCAM/Clinton Foundation should be a day of infamy for our federal agencies. No doubt they're so focused on how Trump and his campaign did not collude with the Russians to notice the contamination of an organization that was once worthy of having it's leader (AND co-director) referred to as "The Honorable ---". We shouldn't be making that mistake anymore. Minions are them.

alex west said...

№just what in blazing Hell does someone have to do to not get a security clearance,

v.v.v. good !!!!!!!!!

Frank Frivilous said...

It's doubtful that Miss Winner will ever get to do hard time as with Portland's public enemy Jeremy Christian. Mainly because they are both participants in a staged hoax! The names are the first clue. Obviously somebody is jerking our chain.

Anonymous said...

She changed her name, from Sara.